My Dad

Growing up, my Dad was in the house but he was emotionally detached and pretty much kept to himself. I remember him as the one who always cut the grass but I can't recall a time of him ever holding or talking to me; communicating as Father and Daughter. He and my Mom divorced when I was 16 years old and to no longer be in a home with him was no different than being in one with him.

When I was 20, my sister (the one who had breast cancer) passed and her funeral was the first time that I'd seen my Dad since the divorce. It would be another 12 years after that before God opened a door of restoration for us. My Dad was in town visiting staying at a boarding house and he was able to get my phone number to get in touch with me. I invited him to my home and he told me of how the Doctor had given up on him to live and sent him back home (to another State to live with my Sister from his first marriage). He was able to admit that he was an alcoholic and had other health issues that if not resolved, he was gonna die. He told me of how he was riding in the ambulance to the other State and he asked God to help him. He said he never wanted or took another drink after that ride. He did, however, end up on dialysis and lived for 20 more years after that fatal diagnosis.

The second year he visited, he stayed at my home where he asked to see my other sisters -not all of them wanted to see him, and he apologized to us for his part in the dysfunction in our home as we grew up. During that same visit, I led my Dad to the Lord, he was 82 years old. We had six more years together in which to build an adult Father and Daughter relationship before he passed. Over those years, I was able to visit him and my sister in their home State which allowed she and I to build a relationship. It was slow going at first because there seemed to be a great disconnect because we didn't know each other. I remember one day standing in the grocery store crying while trying to pick out a Father's Day card for him. I couldn't honestly say that any of those words on the cards resembled the man I grew up with. I had to make the choice between taking the opportunity that God had given us for a second chance at a relationship or holding on to past hurts and transgressions. I decided that I wanted a relationship with him and as a result, I was able to receive my Father's love: he held me and told me that he loved me.