Every year for the past few years my New Years resolution has been to streamline the relationships in my life that don't promote growth. The ones where I'm the only one giving and not really receiving from the relationship. I've even gone so far as to confide in a friend my reasoning behind my actions so that I could be held accountable for allowing people I know that only want to get from me but not give anything to me remain unchecked. This all lasted about as long as any New Years resolution lasted. I'd find myself within the first few months of the year falling back into the same patterns as I had the year before. The patterns that told me that the relationship was one-sided and that I needed to set boundaries or get out completely. But something happened towards the end of 2016 that now has me totally Willing to Walk Alone in 2017.
My Pastor has this saying "If you're willing to walk alone, God will give you someone to walk with you". I've fully embraced the concept of that statement this year. Whereas at times past, I thought I knew enough about the concept to make a relationship work. However, I now fully understand that I was only accepting what was placed before me whether I wanted it or not thereby not really receiving what I needed from the relationship. One thing that sticks out in my mind is the fact that I was willing to date a man that I had absolutely no attraction to just because I wanted to be in a relationship. So, was I really willing to walk alone?
The answer to that question is a resounding NO! Now I know it's not just about being attracted to a person in order for a relationship to work; but that sure does help. Ever since I started checking my motives (as well as the attraction level) of the men I meet, I've come to realize that a lot of them are friend material -but guys don't want to be put in the friend zone- that could have the possibility of becoming more if given the time and chance to build. In 2016 I had to end a relationship (the attraction level for me was off the charts) because when it came to walking in agreement about the direction of the relationship, we just couldn't see eye to eye. It's one thing to say you're willing to walk alone if you don't have someone you're willing to walk with in your life. But when you think you have that someone and things still don't work, being willing to walk alone so that God will give you someone to walk with adds so much more value to the kind of relationship that you desire.
Scripture reference: Amos 3:3
