Are you ready?

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28-30‬ MSG)

Last week, I talked about God being there for me and turning things around in my life. But what about when I was tired, worn out and burned out on religion? He was there too. I'd gotten to a point in my dating life where I was tired of giving my body to men who were not committed to me. I was worn out from trying to get past the limitations placed on me in my work environments. I sure was burned out on all the religious people in my life who weren't faring any better than I was but for appearance sake, you'd never know it. I knew that there had to be more than I had, was experiencing and even thought was possible. So my decision to make Jesus the Lord of my life has far exceeded any life I could have ever made on my own.

If you are at that place in your life where you are ready to accept His Love and His help,  pray this prayer and invite Jesus into your life not only as your Savior but as your Lord.

Dear God,

I heard the gospel today. I heard how much You love me and that you sent Your son Jesus to die for my sins. I want to be right with You God. I repent of my sins and invite Jesus into my life, not only as my Savior but as my Lord. Jesus, I relinquish control of my life to You and accept Your leadership, forgiveness and love. Thank you Father for saving me today. In Jesus name, Amen.

If you prayed that prayer and you meant it, leave a comment or tweet me @M924life so that we can discuss the next path on your journey. Welcome to the Family!

My Lord

When I was in Elementary school, my neighbor friends invited me to their Church's Vacation Bible School. My Mom would not allow me to go because I was not a member of their church. I didn't understand why I couldn't go because she would send me to "our" church every Sunday. I thought that as long as you went to church, it shouldn't have mattered where the church was located. After their Vacation Bible School week ended, my friends told me how I was going to Hell because I did not participate in what they'd learned about Heaven and God that week. I basically obsessed about what they'd said because I didn't want to go to Hell just because my Mom wouldn't allow me to go to their church. One day I was sitting in the school cafeteria talking to this God that I had learned about when I went to "our" church and I told Him about everything that had happened; from my friends inviting me to their church, my Mom not letting me go, to my ultimately being doomed to Hell because I didn't attend their church. I told Him I didn't want to die and go to Hell and I asked Him to save me.

When I was in the Fourth grade, our teacher gave us an assignment to learn a Bible verse and recite it to the class. Since I now had a personal relationship with God, I asked Him which verse would He like me to learn. He told me the 23 Psalm. I learned it all and was very pleased when I could recite the whole thing to my class. Over the years, I've encountered many more bible chapter and verses that mean something to me. However, the 23 Psalm is my guiding light as I navigate through life. Not only does it remind me of all that I have in Christ, it centers me and never lets me forget my beginning with Him that even as a child, He cared so much for me. 

As I grew, I had salvation but no working knowledge of how to live a Godly lifestyle. Sure, God had saved me, then impressed upon my heart to be baptized but until that time came when I was in an environment where I could be taught how to live for Him, I lived pretty much as everyone else. I made the same promises to God that most everyone else did such as, "God, if You do this then I'll do that". I can remember the day He challenged that statement. He had just beautifully orchestrated me being able to buy a new car at a dealership He had my sister take me to whereas I'd previously been turned down at dealerships around town. As I was leaving heading home so I could "show off" my new car to family and friends, I thanked God for what He had done for me. But I sensed that He wasn't pleased. I asked Him what was wrong. That's when He stated, "I've done everything you've asked me to do for you, when will you do what I ask of you?" I knew what He was talking about. That day was a Wednesday and I'd been promising Him that I would start going to Bible Study but I never really put forth an effort to do so. After all, I went to church on Sunday, wasn't that enough? I told Him that instead of showing off my car, I would go to church that night. From that day to this one, I've been committed to church attendance, working in the church and renewing my mind with Gods word. Allowing Him to be Lord over my life has been the best thing to ever happen to me.

Abandonment issues and Restoration

Growing up with my Dad in the home but emotionally detached established the belief that I had that even though a guy didn't actively participate in our relationship didn't mean that he didn't want to be in a relationship with me. I saw it as him not fully being able to communicate his needs, therefore, as long as I gave him what I thought he wanted, that would be enough to sustain the relationship. I struggled for many years with abandonment issues as a result.

When my parents divorced, I blamed myself. I thought that I'd done something to cause the breakup, even though I knew there were problems in the home. After the divorce, I no longer saw my Dad. Although when we were in the same house and my Dad didn't actively communicate with me, I thought that after the divorce he would at least want to see me and still be a part of my life. When that didn't happen and I entered into relationships, I worried that each man would at some point leave, or abandon me no matter how much I wanted him to stay. I would make as many concessions to what I needed in the relationship to keep him happy and wanting to be with me. The more concessions I made, the less of the real me was left in the relationship.

Then one day God told me that He would never leave me or forsake me. That no matter who comes or goes in my life or what situations and challenges that I may face, He will always be there for me. It took His consistency and faithfulness to always show Himself strong, comfort and correct me for me to finally realize that He meant every word that He said. Because of the unconditional love that He gives to me, I am able to stand against abandonment issues in my present day relationships. So that now when a man no longer wants to be in a relationship with me, I allow him the freedom to leave. 

My Dad

Growing up, my Dad was in the house but he was emotionally detached and pretty much kept to himself. I remember him as the one who always cut the grass but I can't recall a time of him ever holding or talking to me; communicating as Father and Daughter. He and my Mom divorced when I was 16 years old and to no longer be in a home with him was no different than being in one with him.

When I was 20, my sister (the one who had breast cancer) passed and her funeral was the first time that I'd seen my Dad since the divorce. It would be another 12 years after that before God opened a door of restoration for us. My Dad was in town visiting staying at a boarding house and he was able to get my phone number to get in touch with me. I invited him to my home and he told me of how the Doctor had given up on him to live and sent him back home (to another State to live with my Sister from his first marriage). He was able to admit that he was an alcoholic and had other health issues that if not resolved, he was gonna die. He told me of how he was riding in the ambulance to the other State and he asked God to help him. He said he never wanted or took another drink after that ride. He did, however, end up on dialysis and lived for 20 more years after that fatal diagnosis.

The second year he visited, he stayed at my home where he asked to see my other sisters -not all of them wanted to see him, and he apologized to us for his part in the dysfunction in our home as we grew up. During that same visit, I led my Dad to the Lord, he was 82 years old. We had six more years together in which to build an adult Father and Daughter relationship before he passed. Over those years, I was able to visit him and my sister in their home State which allowed she and I to build a relationship. It was slow going at first because there seemed to be a great disconnect because we didn't know each other. I remember one day standing in the grocery store crying while trying to pick out a Father's Day card for him. I couldn't honestly say that any of those words on the cards resembled the man I grew up with. I had to make the choice between taking the opportunity that God had given us for a second chance at a relationship or holding on to past hurts and transgressions. I decided that I wanted a relationship with him and as a result, I was able to receive my Father's love: he held me and told me that he loved me.