I can't hide much longer if I want to be found

The bible says that "He that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord" Proverbs 18:22 NKJV

So how come I haven't been "found" yet? There are many outward reasons (many of which have absolutely nothing to do with me) I could name but what I want to talk about are those inward reasons (those things I've noticed and recognize as hindrances) that keep showing up. They are things that stop me in my tracks at the mere thought of being in a committed relationship. They are things that I usually have to talk myself from the ledge about when faced with a new relationship. What are they? Questions!

What if he's really the one? I've had plenty of experience with men who were not the one for me. So the mere thought of a man actually being the right one for me is sometimes scary. Because of failed relationships, it's actually intimidating sometimes to put aside doubts that the man I'm interested in really wants to work at making a relationship with me work. 

What if the relationship doesn't work out? The thought of having a failed relationship is just that, a thought. No one expects for their relationship not to work, but sometimes they do. This not knowing if he'll be willing to stick around to work out any differences we may have often hinders me from trying to understand exactly why he wants to leave. 

Can this really be a reality for me? Recently, I saw a newlywed couple at church. They were all over each other. It was so sweet. If she wasn't touching him, then he was touching her. You could tell that there had been a shift in their relationship from the prior times I'd seen them. Before, they were careful not to touch or bring undue attention to themselves because they were not legally married. But this time, they didn't care who saw that they held hands or embraced. Something about their relationship had changed and they didn't care who knew. In my own life, I've pondered when would I experience that change in my relationship. To go from not knowing if this would last to being absolutely sure that I'd met the right person.

I've determined that I will no longer hide behind questions that keep me from moving forward in my relationships. I want and desire to be found, therefore, I'm positioning myself to be in a place where he can truly find me: with an open heart and open mind ready to receive him into my life. To be the woman on the outside that I truly know lives on the inside: a woman who is unforgettable, loving, passionate, captivating, creative and has a witty sense of humor.