Willing to Walk Alone

Every year for the past few years my New Years resolution has been to streamline the relationships in my life that don't promote growth. The ones where I'm the only one giving and not really receiving from the relationship. I've even gone so far as to confide in a friend my reasoning behind my actions so that I could be held accountable for allowing people I know that only want to get from me but not give anything to me remain unchecked. This all lasted about as long as any New Years resolution lasted. I'd find myself within the first few months of the year falling back into the same patterns as I had the year before. The patterns that told me that the relationship was one-sided and that I needed to set boundaries or get out completely. But something happened towards the end of 2016 that now has me totally Willing to Walk Alone in 2017. 

My Pastor has this saying "If you're willing to walk alone, God will give you someone to walk with you". I've fully embraced the concept of that statement this year. Whereas at times past, I thought I knew enough about the concept to make a relationship work. However, I now fully understand that I was only accepting what was placed before me whether I wanted it or not thereby not really receiving what I needed from the relationship.  One thing that sticks out in my mind is the fact that I was willing to date a man that I had absolutely no attraction to just because I wanted to be in a relationship. So, was I really willing to walk alone?

The answer to that question is a resounding NO! Now I know it's not just about being attracted to a person in order for a relationship to work; but that sure does help. Ever since I started checking my motives (as well as the attraction level) of the men I meet, I've come to realize that a lot of them are friend material -but guys don't want to be put in the friend zone- that could have the possibility of becoming more if given the time and chance to build. In 2016 I had to end a relationship (the attraction level for me was off the charts) because when it came to walking in agreement about the direction of the relationship, we just couldn't see eye to eye. It's one thing to say you're willing to walk alone if you don't have someone you're willing to walk with in your life. But when you think you have that someone and things still don't work, being willing to walk alone so that God will give you someone to walk with adds so much more value to the kind of relationship that you desire.

Scripture reference: Amos 3:3

Love Less

On this side of life, the side that wishes I'd known all the things I know now way back then, it's easier to see how misguided I was in my thinking concerning relationships. I thought that love was all that was needed to make a relationship work. But given the fact that I didn't know the true meaning of love, no wonder things eventually did not work in my relationships. What will make a relationship work is commitment. On this side of my relationships, I can see that there was no commitment involved; it was get in quick and get out quicker.  There was no time taken to get to know each other before the flames of passion turned into the ashes of disappointment. 

Over the years I've come to learn that love is a choice.  Yes, a choice: me giving the other person the choice to remain (or leave) my life without me being totally devastated by the fact that they do or do not want to be a part of my life. How could someone staying in my life be devastating? The fact that they are only there because they fear my reaction to their wanting to leave. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a drama queen.  I've only created ONE dramatic scene on the side of the highway when I was new to the dating scene and he "just wasn't making enough time to be with me" because he was doing everything he could to leave the relationship but I was too busy trying to hold on to him.

I remember telling God (twice in my life) that I would choose the Man over Him should the Man decide to come back into my life.  The mere fact that the Man (both of them) were no longer in my life suggests that there were valid reasons that we were no longer together. Why would I choose someone who I already knew would not commit to me over God?  Because I didn't understand God's priority concerning relationships. It's not that God didn't want me to love them enough to choose to allow either one of them back into my life should they have chosen to come back.  What He did want was for me to Love them Less than Him.  To always put Him first in everything I do, even my relationships. 

Scripture reference: Luke 14:26

Q&A

Hey everyone, thought I'd start the New Year off with a Q&A where you can ask me those things you want to know about me.  You can ask your questions in the comment section and I'll be more than happy to reveal even more interesting facts about myself to you.  Now is the time to get an even deeper insight into how and why my blog exists. 

What can I ask, you say?  Maybe you'd like to know what M924Life means or where the term came from? How about why the blog is titled my journey, my story?  You can also ask personal questions, however, I reserve the right to determine if I deem it too personal for a response-or maybe we can DM or email about it.  I'm open to hear from you and can't wait to see exactly what it is YOU want to know about me.

You may also ask your questions to me on Twitter: @M924Life. I use Twitter as the platform of notification when I post a new blog.  So if you're not subscribed to receive my blogs by email (or even if you are) follow me on Twitter so we can get this Q&A started. 

Scripture reference: 1Peter 3:15

Restoration

Today's video is about how God has restored  my perspective on how I see those things that have been "lost" in my life. Whether stolen by the enemy or given away by me through my lack of faith or ignorance of God's word. However, restoration didn't just happen over night; it's been a process. 

Even tonight as I write, I'm faced with the mindset that the grounds I'd gained in certain relationships have been taken back and really didn't exist in the first place.  Who told me that? Just because people behave a certain way does not mean that the healing that took place didn't really happen. It just means that I've outgrown the immature things of the past that kept me from growing and knowing when to maintain my ground in that relationship instead of just giving up. 

                               
As you watch today's video allow God to restore to you those things lost, stolen or given away in your life.  Don't enter 2017 with built up walls, baggage and unforgiveness  in your heart.  2017 promises to be a year of Restoration so why not get in agreement with God right now and know that from this day forward, you will walk in full manifestation of His promises to you. 

I'm in Great Expectation

Have you ever wanted "something" and prepared yourself to receive it? You created a vision board, talked about it constantly and Thanked God daily for providing it for you.  Then that "something" doesn't come in the package or way that you think it should. However, what you do receive far exceeds even your level of expectation. It surpasses what you even thought you were able to get, have or receive. 

Right now in my life, I'm experiencing "exceeding my level of expectation" concerning areas that I've been believing God to turn around in my favor, for my good. I've literally been thanking Him daily for the last two months about His unprecedented provision in my life.  Each day I wake up and wonder "why me?" in a good way. 

                           In today's video, I talk about an encounter that helped me to see that what I'm believing God for is not only believable but receivable. To keep your faith and trust in the One who is able to do exceeding abundantly and above all you can ask or think.  As you watch the video, whatever comes to mind in your own life, believe that God can and will do far better and above even your wildest dreams.  It's truly time to Possess the Land...Enjoy the Journey!

The Journey

Looking back over my life, I wonder how much more could I have actually achieved, experienced and possessed if I knew then what I know now.  I was given this title 'The Journey' during bible study for a book I hope to one day write. I also have the scripture reference: Mark 10:17-30. For me, these passages all boiled down to whether or not I was doing what I was called by God to do in spite of my present conditions. 

Lately, God has been showing me that He has so much more in store for me if I'll only just believe Him. Every time God gives me a word (especially a challenging word) He always gives me an example of what to do.  For instance, when He revealed that I was not prepared for my marriage, He led me to men and women of God who had already traveled the path I was about to take.  Listening to their advice and gleaning from their experiences afforded me the opportunity to grow at a steady pace that was attainable for me and my lifestyle.  

In today's video, I hope to be an example for someone who's about to travel or is already traveling on the path of total trust in God and His word. That my experiences will afford you much insight and guidance for your own Journey. I pray you be encouraged and inspired to see God move in and through you in every area of your life.  As you allow Him to navigate the paths you take, my deepest desire is that you allow yourself to Enjoy the Journey!

My hair, really?

Yesterday while at work this man asked me if we had a dress code for our HAIR. WHAT? He went on to tell me that his ex-wife has hair like mine (I'm rocking wearable two strand twists). So I asked him if he "thought" we should have a dress code. Needless to say he could tell by the tone of my voice that he needed to choose his words wisely. His response "no, I don't think that".

So now here I am with words too numerous to write in this blog but I thought I'd give it a shot. On so many levels his remark opened up avenues of thoughts I dared not venture. Why? Because for so many years I've been my own worst critic about what's wrong with me and why no one (meaning a man) wants me in his life. I could tell by this mans attitude that he wants back in his ex-wife's life but for some reason her HAIR is a drawback. She may have reasons of her own for staying the Ex but on yesterday I would have been ok with her turning down his offer to reconcile. 

When I got home, his comment still bothered me. I looked at myself in the mirror and said these words "but this is the way WE looked when YOU first fell in love with us as little boys. This is the way OUR Mothers combed our HAIR when we were little girls!" We're (let me speak for myself) - I'm not trying to keep you away by looking like the person who raised me or the young and carefree person I was when I wore braids and an Afro in my youth. I'm certainly not trying to "get back to my roots" - whatever you may think that means. What I am doing is trying to be as healthy on the outside as God has made me on the inside. 

Sure, I would love to have long flowing bouncing and behaving waves and curls in my hair. But that's no longer possible outside of wigs and weaves. You should have seen me when I got a perm every two weeks when I was in my twenties. But somewhere in my thirties those perms took a toll and I needed to make a change in order to have HAIR for the rest of my life. 

So to say that my company needs to have a dress code because women are rocking their natural hair cut a little deeper than I expected. For years I thought I had to be lighter, thinner, smarter and even in some cases dumber to even be considered a prospect for some men. Only now to come face-to-face with a mindset that limits a mans potential for true happiness just because of a hairstyle. 

Believe me guys, that's ALL it is - a hairstyle. It's not ME: The caring, compassionate, sensitive to the leadership of the Holy Spirit woman of God you see every day. It's the Journey in one area of my life with a public view. The one that's thinner on top than I'd like and no matter which side I part it on, everyone can see. The one where the shrinkage is truly real when I want to wear a wash and go. And the one that was slightly wounded when told the woman who is doing ALL she can to keep it healthy was told that it should be bound by rules and regulations to make sure it conformed to someone else's view of what a hairstyle should look like. 

Phew, now that that's off my chest... I am encouraged to know that when faced with a challenging belittling mindset, I was able to pull from my past and remember the good - sitting at my sisters feet as she braided my hair. Protect my present and Enjoy the Journey- by watching YouTube video after YouTube video trying to perfect these two strand twist. And by favoring my future - by walking in love with that man with his off-center mindset.