My hair, really?

Yesterday while at work this man asked me if we had a dress code for our HAIR. WHAT? He went on to tell me that his ex-wife has hair like mine (I'm rocking wearable two strand twists). So I asked him if he "thought" we should have a dress code. Needless to say he could tell by the tone of my voice that he needed to choose his words wisely. His response "no, I don't think that".

So now here I am with words too numerous to write in this blog but I thought I'd give it a shot. On so many levels his remark opened up avenues of thoughts I dared not venture. Why? Because for so many years I've been my own worst critic about what's wrong with me and why no one (meaning a man) wants me in his life. I could tell by this mans attitude that he wants back in his ex-wife's life but for some reason her HAIR is a drawback. She may have reasons of her own for staying the Ex but on yesterday I would have been ok with her turning down his offer to reconcile. 

When I got home, his comment still bothered me. I looked at myself in the mirror and said these words "but this is the way WE looked when YOU first fell in love with us as little boys. This is the way OUR Mothers combed our HAIR when we were little girls!" We're (let me speak for myself) - I'm not trying to keep you away by looking like the person who raised me or the young and carefree person I was when I wore braids and an Afro in my youth. I'm certainly not trying to "get back to my roots" - whatever you may think that means. What I am doing is trying to be as healthy on the outside as God has made me on the inside. 

Sure, I would love to have long flowing bouncing and behaving waves and curls in my hair. But that's no longer possible outside of wigs and weaves. You should have seen me when I got a perm every two weeks when I was in my twenties. But somewhere in my thirties those perms took a toll and I needed to make a change in order to have HAIR for the rest of my life. 

So to say that my company needs to have a dress code because women are rocking their natural hair cut a little deeper than I expected. For years I thought I had to be lighter, thinner, smarter and even in some cases dumber to even be considered a prospect for some men. Only now to come face-to-face with a mindset that limits a mans potential for true happiness just because of a hairstyle. 

Believe me guys, that's ALL it is - a hairstyle. It's not ME: The caring, compassionate, sensitive to the leadership of the Holy Spirit woman of God you see every day. It's the Journey in one area of my life with a public view. The one that's thinner on top than I'd like and no matter which side I part it on, everyone can see. The one where the shrinkage is truly real when I want to wear a wash and go. And the one that was slightly wounded when told the woman who is doing ALL she can to keep it healthy was told that it should be bound by rules and regulations to make sure it conformed to someone else's view of what a hairstyle should look like. 

Phew, now that that's off my chest... I am encouraged to know that when faced with a challenging belittling mindset, I was able to pull from my past and remember the good - sitting at my sisters feet as she braided my hair. Protect my present and Enjoy the Journey- by watching YouTube video after YouTube video trying to perfect these two strand twist. And by favoring my future - by walking in love with that man with his off-center mindset.