As I write this, it's 1:30 am in the morning and I'm up. Why? Because the enemy to my sleep has waken me up to an almost full blown anxiety attack! I woke up with thoughts running through my mind about how "this was it". How I "wasn't gonna make it" this time. Not only that but my body was reacting also. I was itchy, hot and felt like something was really wrong this time. Yeah, I said this time because I've been to this place before; only now I know better. I now know that this attack is truly the enemy trying to steal from me the peace that God has given me because I put my trust in Him.
Last month, I talked about my Journey to Debt Freedom and how my faith in God is propelling me toward that freedom. Well, you better believe that since that avenue of testing was blocked, I was tested in another area - my health. Or the belief that my health was failing and I was gonna die. I'm not talking about getting sick and maybe one day recovering. No, those thoughts said, "die", "death" and "dead" and they all pointed toward me. When I woke up, I had to basically arrest those thoughts by first getting my body under control. I had to speak words of life over myself and know that God WILL NOT bombard you with evil thoughts when He deals with you. So I had to recognize where the thoughts were coming from and choose what I was going to believe.
I chose to believe that God was with me in that situation the same as He was with me when my finances ran out. That just as there was a way of escape from the previous test, there was also an escape for this test. But I had to calm myself enough to be able to hear from God and know that He was with me: no one else was there to pray for, lay hands on or help me. To understand that I would not die but live and be bold enough to share this process with others. So, the next time you're in a "midnight hour" and the enemy comes in to steal from you, don't just lay there and accept it. No matter the time, get up, stay up and rise up in your authority as a believer in Jesus Christ.
Scripture reference: John 15:4-8
Saturday, June 24, 2017
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Journey to Debt Freedom
It all began "again" during the month of February when I was expecting an unexpected retirement cash withdrawal. I know, I know, I can think of at least three questions to ask just from the first sentence alone. But give me a minute and I'll do my best to explain. See, I'd been living from paycheck to paycheck; only thing is, I didn't see this as a bad thing -only an inconvenience. But when the bottom fell out and my accounts were completely wiped out, only then did I clearly understand God's directive to "get out of debt and stay out".
For the last few months, I've been operating on a barely there financial existence. It's been a real eye opener for me. I now see debt as the enemy to my financial freedom that I've believed God for all these years. A few months before the downturn happened, I'd been blessed with a new job and a new car. Then all of a sudden, I was hit with a situation that's never happened to me before - I couldn't pay my bills and I had no money in the bank! How did this happen? It happened because I was "robbing Peter to pay Paul" and when the finances that were due to me didn't show up in time (plus tax season rolled around and the refund I got back was the lowest amount I'd ever gotten since I've been working), I had no emergency fund or fall-back plan in place. This was a major hit to my keeping myself afloat until the next paycheck.
Today, I see myself debt free for life and that's the direction I'm headed. I don't plan to make friends with debt ever again. See, God has delivered me from debt not once but twice before in my life. Now I truly understand His directive to stay out of debt because each time has been worse than the last time. I can't even begin to tell you how I ended up with no money in the bank. But what I can tell you I did have was my faith in God and I knew that there had to be a way out of what I'd found myself in financially. I read books, watched YouTube videos and participated in YouVersion plans. I needed to change my focus from my lack of finances to getting the knowledge I needed, seeing examples in people who've done what I was about to do and getting the worry out.
Book: Debt Free for Life by David Bach
YouTube videos: His And Her Money - Talaat and Tai McNeely
YouVersion: Plans about worry, anxiety and fear
I went on a six week #Noworries fast
Scripture reference: 1 Corinthians 10:13
For the last few months, I've been operating on a barely there financial existence. It's been a real eye opener for me. I now see debt as the enemy to my financial freedom that I've believed God for all these years. A few months before the downturn happened, I'd been blessed with a new job and a new car. Then all of a sudden, I was hit with a situation that's never happened to me before - I couldn't pay my bills and I had no money in the bank! How did this happen? It happened because I was "robbing Peter to pay Paul" and when the finances that were due to me didn't show up in time (plus tax season rolled around and the refund I got back was the lowest amount I'd ever gotten since I've been working), I had no emergency fund or fall-back plan in place. This was a major hit to my keeping myself afloat until the next paycheck.
Today, I see myself debt free for life and that's the direction I'm headed. I don't plan to make friends with debt ever again. See, God has delivered me from debt not once but twice before in my life. Now I truly understand His directive to stay out of debt because each time has been worse than the last time. I can't even begin to tell you how I ended up with no money in the bank. But what I can tell you I did have was my faith in God and I knew that there had to be a way out of what I'd found myself in financially. I read books, watched YouTube videos and participated in YouVersion plans. I needed to change my focus from my lack of finances to getting the knowledge I needed, seeing examples in people who've done what I was about to do and getting the worry out.
Book: Debt Free for Life by David Bach
YouTube videos: His And Her Money - Talaat and Tai McNeely
YouVersion: Plans about worry, anxiety and fear
I went on a six week #Noworries fast
Scripture reference: 1 Corinthians 10:13
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Question?
While at work one day, I overheard a lady say "my ex-husband" as she was giving her statement to the clerk and for some reason the words "ex-husband" jumped out at me. I know that dating relationships and even friendships end and we move on with our lives but my Question to You is "Why do people end a relationship that they thought would last forever?" Aside from there being abuse or continued adultery in the relationship, how easy does it have to become to say "I've had enough of This and You and I want out!"
Over the weekend I had meaningful conversations with a few friends and out of the four of us, I was the only one never divorced. Is the fact that I've never been married the only reason why I haven't experienced the death of a relationship through divorce? Hmmm... We each had different takes on what and how relationships and even life was supposed to happen. But what should be the deciding factor when those differences arise? Hmmm...
I've been through rough and tough relationships in my Single life; those times when I felt like giving up and especially those times when I couldn't see my way through. On this side of those tests, trials and temptations I can't imagine what could happen in a marital relationship that would cause one or both parties to give up on the relationship they hoped would last forever. But after taking the time to think on the matter, I've come to realize that the differences of opinions about the same situation, selfishness from one or both parties and the unwillingness to compromise is the most dangerous factors in any relationship.
Scripture reference: 2 Corinthians 6:14 MSG
Over the weekend I had meaningful conversations with a few friends and out of the four of us, I was the only one never divorced. Is the fact that I've never been married the only reason why I haven't experienced the death of a relationship through divorce? Hmmm... We each had different takes on what and how relationships and even life was supposed to happen. But what should be the deciding factor when those differences arise? Hmmm...
I've been through rough and tough relationships in my Single life; those times when I felt like giving up and especially those times when I couldn't see my way through. On this side of those tests, trials and temptations I can't imagine what could happen in a marital relationship that would cause one or both parties to give up on the relationship they hoped would last forever. But after taking the time to think on the matter, I've come to realize that the differences of opinions about the same situation, selfishness from one or both parties and the unwillingness to compromise is the most dangerous factors in any relationship.
Scripture reference: 2 Corinthians 6:14 MSG
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Willing to Walk Alone
Every year for the past few years my New Years resolution has been to streamline the relationships in my life that don't promote growth. The ones where I'm the only one giving and not really receiving from the relationship. I've even gone so far as to confide in a friend my reasoning behind my actions so that I could be held accountable for allowing people I know that only want to get from me but not give anything to me remain unchecked. This all lasted about as long as any New Years resolution lasted. I'd find myself within the first few months of the year falling back into the same patterns as I had the year before. The patterns that told me that the relationship was one-sided and that I needed to set boundaries or get out completely. But something happened towards the end of 2016 that now has me totally Willing to Walk Alone in 2017.
My Pastor has this saying "If you're willing to walk alone, God will give you someone to walk with you". I've fully embraced the concept of that statement this year. Whereas at times past, I thought I knew enough about the concept to make a relationship work. However, I now fully understand that I was only accepting what was placed before me whether I wanted it or not thereby not really receiving what I needed from the relationship. One thing that sticks out in my mind is the fact that I was willing to date a man that I had absolutely no attraction to just because I wanted to be in a relationship. So, was I really willing to walk alone?
The answer to that question is a resounding NO! Now I know it's not just about being attracted to a person in order for a relationship to work; but that sure does help. Ever since I started checking my motives (as well as the attraction level) of the men I meet, I've come to realize that a lot of them are friend material -but guys don't want to be put in the friend zone- that could have the possibility of becoming more if given the time and chance to build. In 2016 I had to end a relationship (the attraction level for me was off the charts) because when it came to walking in agreement about the direction of the relationship, we just couldn't see eye to eye. It's one thing to say you're willing to walk alone if you don't have someone you're willing to walk with in your life. But when you think you have that someone and things still don't work, being willing to walk alone so that God will give you someone to walk with adds so much more value to the kind of relationship that you desire.
Scripture reference: Amos 3:3
My Pastor has this saying "If you're willing to walk alone, God will give you someone to walk with you". I've fully embraced the concept of that statement this year. Whereas at times past, I thought I knew enough about the concept to make a relationship work. However, I now fully understand that I was only accepting what was placed before me whether I wanted it or not thereby not really receiving what I needed from the relationship. One thing that sticks out in my mind is the fact that I was willing to date a man that I had absolutely no attraction to just because I wanted to be in a relationship. So, was I really willing to walk alone?
The answer to that question is a resounding NO! Now I know it's not just about being attracted to a person in order for a relationship to work; but that sure does help. Ever since I started checking my motives (as well as the attraction level) of the men I meet, I've come to realize that a lot of them are friend material -but guys don't want to be put in the friend zone- that could have the possibility of becoming more if given the time and chance to build. In 2016 I had to end a relationship (the attraction level for me was off the charts) because when it came to walking in agreement about the direction of the relationship, we just couldn't see eye to eye. It's one thing to say you're willing to walk alone if you don't have someone you're willing to walk with in your life. But when you think you have that someone and things still don't work, being willing to walk alone so that God will give you someone to walk with adds so much more value to the kind of relationship that you desire.
Scripture reference: Amos 3:3
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Love Less
On this side of life, the side that wishes I'd known all the things I know now way back then, it's easier to see how misguided I was in my thinking concerning relationships. I thought that love was all that was needed to make a relationship work. But given the fact that I didn't know the true meaning of love, no wonder things eventually did not work in my relationships. What will make a relationship work is commitment. On this side of my relationships, I can see that there was no commitment involved; it was get in quick and get out quicker. There was no time taken to get to know each other before the flames of passion turned into the ashes of disappointment.
Over the years I've come to learn that love is a choice. Yes, a choice: me giving the other person the choice to remain (or leave) my life without me being totally devastated by the fact that they do or do not want to be a part of my life. How could someone staying in my life be devastating? The fact that they are only there because they fear my reaction to their wanting to leave. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a drama queen. I've only created ONE dramatic scene on the side of the highway when I was new to the dating scene and he "just wasn't making enough time to be with me" because he was doing everything he could to leave the relationship but I was too busy trying to hold on to him.
I remember telling God (twice in my life) that I would choose the Man over Him should the Man decide to come back into my life. The mere fact that the Man (both of them) were no longer in my life suggests that there were valid reasons that we were no longer together. Why would I choose someone who I already knew would not commit to me over God? Because I didn't understand God's priority concerning relationships. It's not that God didn't want me to love them enough to choose to allow either one of them back into my life should they have chosen to come back. What He did want was for me to Love them Less than Him. To always put Him first in everything I do, even my relationships.
Scripture reference: Luke 14:26
Over the years I've come to learn that love is a choice. Yes, a choice: me giving the other person the choice to remain (or leave) my life without me being totally devastated by the fact that they do or do not want to be a part of my life. How could someone staying in my life be devastating? The fact that they are only there because they fear my reaction to their wanting to leave. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a drama queen. I've only created ONE dramatic scene on the side of the highway when I was new to the dating scene and he "just wasn't making enough time to be with me" because he was doing everything he could to leave the relationship but I was too busy trying to hold on to him.
I remember telling God (twice in my life) that I would choose the Man over Him should the Man decide to come back into my life. The mere fact that the Man (both of them) were no longer in my life suggests that there were valid reasons that we were no longer together. Why would I choose someone who I already knew would not commit to me over God? Because I didn't understand God's priority concerning relationships. It's not that God didn't want me to love them enough to choose to allow either one of them back into my life should they have chosen to come back. What He did want was for me to Love them Less than Him. To always put Him first in everything I do, even my relationships.
Scripture reference: Luke 14:26
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Q&A
Hey everyone, thought I'd start the New Year off with a Q&A where you can ask me those things you want to know about me. You can ask your questions in the comment section and I'll be more than happy to reveal even more interesting facts about myself to you. Now is the time to get an even deeper insight into how and why my blog exists.
What can I ask, you say? Maybe you'd like to know what M924Life means or where the term came from? How about why the blog is titled my journey, my story? You can also ask personal questions, however, I reserve the right to determine if I deem it too personal for a response-or maybe we can DM or email about it. I'm open to hear from you and can't wait to see exactly what it is YOU want to know about me.
You may also ask your questions to me on Twitter: @M924Life. I use Twitter as the platform of notification when I post a new blog. So if you're not subscribed to receive my blogs by email (or even if you are) follow me on Twitter so we can get this Q&A started.
Scripture reference: 1Peter 3:15
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Restoration
Today's video is about how God has restored my perspective on how I see those things that have been "lost" in my life. Whether stolen by the enemy or given away by me through my lack of faith or ignorance of God's word. However, restoration didn't just happen over night; it's been a process.
Even tonight as I write, I'm faced with the mindset that the grounds I'd gained in certain relationships have been taken back and really didn't exist in the first place. Who told me that? Just because people behave a certain way does not mean that the healing that took place didn't really happen. It just means that I've outgrown the immature things of the past that kept me from growing and knowing when to maintain my ground in that relationship instead of just giving up.
As you watch today's video allow God to restore to you those things lost, stolen or given away in your life. Don't enter 2017 with built up walls, baggage and unforgiveness in your heart. 2017 promises to be a year of Restoration so why not get in agreement with God right now and know that from this day forward, you will walk in full manifestation of His promises to you.
Even tonight as I write, I'm faced with the mindset that the grounds I'd gained in certain relationships have been taken back and really didn't exist in the first place. Who told me that? Just because people behave a certain way does not mean that the healing that took place didn't really happen. It just means that I've outgrown the immature things of the past that kept me from growing and knowing when to maintain my ground in that relationship instead of just giving up.
As you watch today's video allow God to restore to you those things lost, stolen or given away in your life. Don't enter 2017 with built up walls, baggage and unforgiveness in your heart. 2017 promises to be a year of Restoration so why not get in agreement with God right now and know that from this day forward, you will walk in full manifestation of His promises to you.
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