My Truth

Recently it has become very clear that in order for me to continue to grow (both spiritually and emotionally) I must really and truly live in My Truth. That means that I’m honest with myself about what I want out of life and how I plan to go after the things I want in life; no matter what others say or do to try to contradict or stop me. And the best way to achieve my desired goals is to believe God: take Him at His Word. 

There was a situation recently that faced a group of us. Me being the one to look for the positive in the situation, I thought I’d rallied the group into believing the same game plan and we were all on the same page. I later found out that not everyone was on board. One person started out working the plan and when the second persons time came to take action, they backed off. I knew in my spirit that that right there is what causes many desires, plans and needs to go unfulfilled: failure to act out on what is heard. 

I then completed my part of the game plan and thought everything worked out fine. Others in the group seemed excited about completing their parts as well and started the process feeling confident in what needed to be done. The person that chose not to follow the group plan is quiet now. Before, they were trying to get me to see how what I shared at the beginning was not a valid option for them and how it was not going to work. My response to the excuses that were given was “but you didn’t even try!” Not trying is NOT an option. Especially if you’re believing God: He never fails. 

Now the project is over and the members of the group that followed the plan are pleased with the results. The person that chose not to follow the game plan but found an alternate plan said they were pleased as well. I know you’re thinking so why this post then? Because even though the same end results were achieved, how much more rewarding and fulfilling the process and results could have been if we’d all stayed on the same page. How many times has God given a directive but because of the excuses we make, we come up with a plan that causes us to take another route? Sure, we may get to the destination but God’s presence will be in the process and place He directed us to go. 

Comfort Zone

God wants you to be in Comfort even as He guides you out of your Comfort Zone. This morning before starting my quiet time, I heard “kneel before me”. Oh Lord, I thought. Me and these knees ain’t gonna make it on this hardwood floor. But, out of obedience to God, I prayed while kneeling on the hardwood floor. 

The pressure on my knees grew the longer I stayed on the floor. My prayer was “choppy” at best because my concentration was on the pain in my knees: not on communicating with God. After several minutes on the floor, I decided to take my quiet time position “back to the bed” where I usually am. As I climbed into the bed, I ended up in a kneeling position that just felt right. Well, what do you know?!

This kneeling position-in bed, gave me the comfort level I’m used to during my quiet time and it also allowed me to fully comply to God’s directive. And guess what? My prayer turned from “choppy” to powerful. I couldn’t help but Thank God for the revelation that He’s not opposed to my comfort when I’m in His presence and obeying Him. That when I find myself working strenuously to achieve something that He’s asked me to do, there IS nothing wrong with finding an easier more comfortable way for it to be done: He’s not requiring me to be discomforted in order to obey Him. 

I later told a friend about what had happened and her question to me was “who told you that you had to get on the floor to pray?”  My response to her was “it was what I thought I should do in order to kneel before Him.” I’ve wondered today how many hard paths I’ve taken over the years because I thought I should have done something one way when there very well could have been an easier way to do them. Now, ask yourself the same question and be prepared to find ways to obey God in comfort as you Enjoy the Journey!

Life at Work

I’ve come to realize that Life and Work each impact the other in profound ways. When one is out of balance it will truly impact the other. While on the verge of getting my Life in order, I found Work that I thought would compliment my Life. However, I soon saw Work totally disrupt my Life. 

While adjusting to being the new person on the job and not having a full working knowledge of the levels in the chain of command, I soon found myself on the outside looking in; even in the department that I was hired to be a part of. I ran into the “that’s the way it’s always been” syndrome and no one seemed willing to help me understand or even willing to challenge the system. This left me feeling as if I had to fend for myself: so I did. 

But having a Life outside of Work enabled me to stand my ground and stick up for myself even when it looked like I’d always walk alone. I knew the opposition I faced at Work was targeted at me as a result of past hurts and wounds held in place by Institutional prejudice. No one wanted to talk about it; therefore you were expected to act as if it didn’t exist. I was determined to have a Work - Life balance that was both fulfilling and rewarding. 

When I found myself facing health issues as a direct result of the added stresses and pressures of Work along with the things going on in my Life, I sought the help that I needed: Prayer, Medical and Counseling. When I was able to balance the turmoil that was going on inside of me, I felt strong enough to handle the opposition that came at me. As a result, I’m now in an environment that is fulfilling - not because anyone else changed but because I did. Sure, there are still some who choose to hold on to the way things used to be but whether or not they change will not keep me from being, doing and having better in my Life at Work. 

My Needs ARE Met

There’s no way I could have gotten to this point all by myself. But just know this, I’m HERE! My Journey to Debt Freedom has been nothing less than the unexpected. Every way I thought I would make debt freedom happen for me either fell apart, blew up in my face or left me hanging. I didn’t know which way to turn; but I did know who I could call on. 

In a bold move on my part I asked God to completely deliver me from debt. I explained how I participated with Him during the two prior times that He delivered me from debt; but this time I asked Him to do it all by Himself. Did I believe that He would answer that prayer? Was it even possible to get out of debt without doing anything? Keep reading and you’ll find out. 

Obedience is better than sacrifice! A little over four months ago I was instructed by God to not make any additional payments on the debt. Before that, my plan was to pay extra on my lowest bill using the debt snowball method, then attack the next debt and by the first of the year start to pay off my car. Well four months ago I thought God was "in error" when He said to not make additional payments on the debt. Each month since, I've thought about going ahead and making the extra payments but something has always come up and I wouldn’t have any extra to pay toward the debt. So last month I finally surrendered the "fight” of trying to do what I’d been instructed not to do. 

Well this month rolls in and my check was short -that's another story for another time. We get paid tomorrow and my check now reflects the extra insurance that I added but even though my pay increase is there, I'm not bringing home as much as I thought. Seems there was a payroll error made that won’t be corrected until my next paycheck. This morning I totally committed my Journey to Debt Freedom to God because in my mind, getting the extra income was gonna be ME handling the debt -without God's help. And all along He has been showing me that He knows this path that I'm on better than I do and He will lead me to total debt freedom! Because I haven't created any new debt, even in the midst of not making additional payments, the current debt balance is decreasing. Now I'm truly trusting God to teach me how to handle my finances and live my life totally Debt Free!

Half way there!

I’m half way to having my $1,000 emergency fund and I’m so excited! My Journey to Debt Freedom has gone slower than I originally projected. After reading Dave Ramsey’s book Total Money Makeover I was eager for ALL my debt to be gone; and by now I’d wanted to be walking in total debt freedom. That hasn’t been the case. 

I like to call this time frame my Foundation Building time because I’ve learned so much about me and my relationship with money that I’m now on a firm enough foundation where I can not only become debt free but stay debt free for life. Right now I’m still in debt but I can see that debt decreasing even though it’s taking its own sweet time to GO! I say that in fun but I know I didn’t build this mound of debt overnight. But once I fully embraced the concept of why I don’t have to allow debt to stay in my life, I wanted it out of my life.  

I was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen: working overtime, applying for a part time job and sticking to my budget. Now that I’m at the half way point on Baby Step One, I’m thinking of even more creative ways to get the rest of the money for the emergency fund. A coworker and I even talked about having a garage sale. Plus I’m making sure to sow some things into the lives of others. 

I’m mostly glad that I can see progress even though things are not moving at the accelerated speed I hoped for in the beginning. What this slower pace has allowed me to do is really think about and plan for my future by counting the costs associated with each money decision I have to make. Therefore, I’ve purposed to stay focused on my desire to complete Baby Step One by fully funding my emergency fund so that I can begin Baby Step Two: PAYING OFF DEBT!

Not Now!

Have you ever been so geared up for the “next step” to happen that when it’s finally in reach something happens that suddenly puts the brakes on your plans that you’re left saying Not Now!? That’s where I currently find myself. I wanted it so bad that I could taste the victory. Only now I’m left with the question of “When will I get back to that point?” See what had happened was, I’d gotten so used to working overtime to help alleviate some of my debt that I wasn’t prepared for the day the overtime stopped. 

Granted, I was caught up on all my bills and I’d even paid off some debt. But this overtime check was gonna be different. This overtime money was gonna be mine. All mine! I had so many things planned for it’s use that would make all these months of putting what I wanted on hold worth the wait. Now there are no new clothes or shoes in my closet. That handbag I had my eye on is back on my wishlist. And don’t get me started about not being able to go to my new favorite Mexican restaurant and splurge. Yep, I was too dependent on the overtime. 

I know that now and believe me, I’m even more determined to become completely debt free. Just think, the overtime money I had my eye on could in fact be the money from my regular paycheck that would allow me to do the things I want: That’s is, if I wasn’t in debt. All the more reason to stay focused and do what needs to be done to eliminate debt from my life. 

This situation has taught me the value of every dollar I make. The importance of not having it owed out to creditors even before I receive it. That the anticipation I felt when I was about to have money to do those things in life that I want is obtainable for me as part of my being debt free. I am motivated to continue on this Journey to fulfill the promise I made to myself; to become debt free for Life. 

Cause that’s not all I know

I’m crying as I write this because it’s been weighing heavy on my heart for the past five days. So I decided to speak now or forever hold my peace. There’s an image that I can’t unsee and thoughts that I can’t “unthink” that have been on replay this whole time. Let’s begin with the thoughts. 

I left work early yesterday for a doctors appointment. Mind you, I’d just been there two weeks ago but today “felt” different. No, I’m not sick - thanks for being concerned. Just needed to follow up with another doctor. But this is what happened: as I was going in, I spoke to a Black lady who spoke back. My first thought was “that’s what Normal people do, they speak back.” But then I thought of the White lady at work who no matter how many times you speak to her, she won’t speak back. What she will do is mutter something under her breath, growl -yes, I’ve been growled at several times. Or she’ll even jump back as if you’re about to assault her. 

As I’m leaving the doctors appointment, a young White lady speaks to me. As I’m heading to my car, an older White man speaks to me. What?! two in a row, what’s going on. Remember, I said I was just there two weeks ago and I spoke but no one spoke back. I decide to go to a big-box store before going home. There, a White couple speaks to me -both of them, not just her. Now I know something is going on. The only thing that comes to mind for this “change” is the image that I can’t unsee. 

Let’s talk about the image. It’s nearing the end of 2018 and a young Black man was killed at a local mall during Black Friday. There were a lot of White suits that showed up at work yesterday and I figured it had to do with the way things were going to be handled with the death of this Black man. My coworker showed me the image of him that was posted on Social Media. No mother should EVER have to carry around that image of her child...EVER! Now I think I know the reason for the change. I think these White people speaking to me shows that there are White people who feel the pain and understand the hurt that racial profiling is causing in our State. 

Then why am I crying? Because all day yesterday and even as I write this, I told my Father God that “I don’t like this (the death of that young Black man) and something has got to change.” I’m not crying because a few White people spoke to me -cause that’s not ALL I know. I’ve had White people in my life ALL my life. And here recently, I’ve had White people in my life whose birth certificates say they are as Black as I am. I’m crying because this Thanksgiving as God was reconciling me and my family and we were Enjoying each other’s company over food, games and fellowship, a Black mother lost her son who was out trying to get a Black Friday deal. 

Listen to me speak. I think that as long as we continue to leave our homes on Thanksgiving Day looking for a “sale” that can easily take place over the whole Holiday season, then commercialism will continue to allow us to be killed for no other reason than we allow it #IdontdoBlackFriday. I’ve come to a place in my life where people are more important to me than the things I can buy at the mall on One particular day. 

As for the platform of Social Media that was created so we could “speak” to each other digitally, it is now being used to assault not only peoples minds but their spirits. Therefore, I speak Peace to You: Nothing missing and nothing lacking. For those who don’t recognize what should NOT be posted or are only posting negative images in hopes of monetary gain, I pray you realize that Jesus paid the ultimate price for you. There really is no hurt that Jesus is not able to heal #letsdoSocialMediaright. If you can’t or won’t “speak” positively -especially when online, then DON’T.