Prayer for my Husband

Father, I thank you for my husband: an authentic man. He works to provide for me, he provides me with emotional security, he's my protector and provides spiritual guidance in our home. He exercises Godly leadership in our home through modeling and giving directions. He does what he says he will do. He's the biggest giver I know. He takes the initiative and is wholly committed to me and he accepts responsibility. 

Father, thank you for my husband who is a real dad; an active and involved father. He schedules time to talk with our children; He often discusses things with them. He takes an active role in our children's education. He has fun with our children and teaches them skills and imparts the knowledge he has gained to them. He always tells them how much he loves them and is proud of them. My husband exemplifies being a real dad through loving, coaching and modeling. He loves by spending time, giving attention, showing affection, encouragement and respect to our children. He coaches by sharing wisdom, guidance, counsel and passing along his skills to our children. He models by being an example of an authentic man to our children.

Father, thank you for my husband who allows me to be the authentic woman you created me to be. He knows I was created to be loved, therefore, he loves me all the days of his life. He knows I am a woman who understands my worth, accepts my role as a mother: to always be there, support dreams, defend against the world, love at all times, love even when neglected, never give up and always go the extra mile all while fulfilling my purpose in the earth.

I Did This To Myself

Why am I not married? Because I wasn't prepared to be married.  I didn't know the first thing about maintaining a healthy married life. I was only equipped with the fact that I knew I wanted to be married one day AND highly believed that I would have a good marriage.  What does that mean? That means that I had enough information (from the Word of God, family and friends marriages) that I've gleaned over the years and declared what would and would not be a part of my marriage based on others actions and experiences. But as far as what happens after the wedding, I was clueless of the commitment it truly requires to have a happy and healthy marriage.

But on August 26th, I got a revelation that I was NOT prepared for my own marriage. Sure, I have enough Word on the subject matter but that Word was just head knowledge. Case in point, why was I waiting to have a disagreement with my husband before I learned how to handle marital conflicts? You may be thinking, a conflict is a conflict. Learn how to handle conflict and you can handle conflict in every relationship. Tell that sentence to married couples and you'll soon understand the difference. For me as a single person, if a conflict arises with a guy I'm dating and we can't resolve it, then the best option would be for us to move on (especially if one or both of us is not fully committed to the relationship).  However, in marriage, where will you move on to because you're engaged in a conflict that appears can't be resolved? 

Since the 26th, I've been immersing myself in God's Word (Logos and Rhema), bible reading plans (courtesy of YouVersion), books on marriage (courtesy of iBooks) and YouTube videos (Touré Roberts and Sarah Jakes on Love, Purpose, Relationships and Destiny) and I truly believe the foundation for my marriage has been established. No longer am I on the outside looking in hoping for a good marriage. I am fully persuaded that I am prepared for an exceeding abundantly above all that I can ask or think marriage. Not only that, when I communicate with others now about their marriage, it's the principles I've learned that I share knowing that God's Word is the final say in every good and healthy marriage. 

A Parable and a Gift

In the parable of the talents found in Matthew 25:14-30, I've for the most part, centered on the servants who gained more talents (five and two) in my studies and teaching of this parable. However recently, I've been exposed to the servant who was given the one talent who went and hid his talent (v.18).  When the Man who had given the talents returned, two servants explained how they used what they were given, gained more and were then rewarded. But the one who hid his talent expounded on the (perceived harsh) character of the man instead of taking advantage of an opportunity given to him to increase - and ultimately forfeited his reward.  

How does this relate to the here and now? Lowest common denominator: We all may not have several and various gifts, talents and abilities. But we all have been given at least one gift, talent or ability.  What are you doing with one talent you've been given? Are you increasing and gaining more? Are you using it to be a blessing to someone else? Not only that, how are you responding to the gift, talent or ability that others are sowing into you? Do you feel entitled to it or are you appreciative that someone thought enough to bless you?

This parable, specifically verse 18, has helped me to reconcile the fact that a gift I had given to someone was not used for its intended purpose.  Sure, I know that when a gift is given its the other persons right to do whatever they will with the gift. However, I still had to come to terms with the fact that even though the gift was needed and given out of a pure heart, it was not used for its intended purpose but was allowed to lay waste and dormant; not benefiting the receiver at all. The one question that remains to be answered is "why?" Only the receiver is able to answer that (believe me I've asked), but just like the man in the parable, the only answer I got was about me and my (perceived) character.

Someday Soon

I remember being told by my friend what the guy I liked told her he thought about me. He thought I wasn't "loud" enough to be in his life. Exactly what does that mean? He considered himself to be a player (I guess) and that any woman that was with him should want to be seen. Well, I didn't like to be seen. I was just as happy being in the background rather than out front and on display. But because I really liked this guy, I tried being "loud". Only problem is, he still didn't treat me any better or make me feel loved. 

That being said, I often found myself in other relationships waiting to get the guys opinion of me to determine which Me would be in the relationship. Surely I would meet and be able to keep the guy who wanted me to be or act a certain way. Over time, I began to realize that I didn't even know who I was any longer. So how could I give myself wholeheartedly to someone when I didn't even recognize myself? 

Now that I know who I am and what I want, I intend to stay focused (my actions and words lining up with my expectations) in order to receive the man of my dreams. Lately I had been wondering if I was making a mistake to stay true to my feelings and not deviate (settle for less) from what I desire in order to be in a relationship. However, it has become apparently clear that I am determined to have the kind of relationship and mate that I desire (every opportunity presented I weigh the options) and realize that to deviate would only gain me less than my true desires. 

A New Beginning

In life, you will experience many new beginnings. Sometimes you may have to start over due to no fault of your own; such as a job downsizing. Other times, you may have planned a brand new start for your life; such as returning to school in order to change your career path. In either case, it's how well you are prepared for the new beginning that will determine your outlook on life.

You may be wondering, how can I prepare for my job being downsized? It's all in your perspective on how you see this reduction in force affecting your life. If you think it's the end of your livelihood then it probably will be. If you see it as an opportunity to begin anew and try something different, then the many new career options that are available to you will put you in a position where you have choices of the path you will take. 

Now that you have seen how your perspective can affect your outlook about a job being downed sized, you will be able to apply that same principle to other areas of your life. Are you missing out on the many new beginnings in your life because your perspective has been off? If so, I'd like to encourage you by saying that when I stopped seeing the negative things (I've gone through 3 job downsizings in four years time) that have happened to me as stumbling blocks (the end of my hopes and dreams) but stepping stones (additional time to prepare for my dreams to come true), my whole outlook on life has been changed. 

Never let your situation 

Tell you who you are

God has a better plan

Where you'll outshine the brightest star

Now's the time to keep your head up

And trust Him with your heart

Cause often what looks like the end

Is always a brand new start

Vacation

Now is the season for vacations, even if you have to enjoy a staycation at home. That means transitioning from what you were doing (working) to what you will be doing (relaxing).  In my own personal life, a transition is taking place. However, this coming week, I'll be on vacation.

I'm taking this time to relax because I have been laboring to give my best on my blog and I want to continue to encourage and inspire you. That being said, once I get back to work, my time allotted for posting to my blog will be altered. I thoroughly enjoy writing and sharing and I've even been "informed" that to not blog is NOT an option :)

I've decided that in this transition, I will also be making changes to my blog. Where I used to post once a week, I will now post once a month. You can follow me on Twitter @M924life to see when a new post has come out. I appreciate your continued support and look forward to Enjoying the Journey as I Possess the Land.

What People are saying

Thought I'd take this opportunity to share with you some of the feedback I've been getting about my blog. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I'm enjoying hearing what People are saying.

Gone Bubbly!! You and your international follower!! I read your post.. I really liked it.. A lot of women will be able to relate to your blog and it's very therapeutic.. I'm glad you are doing this.. ( I could have wrote this on your post). Yes!! Very transparent open and honest.

Wow your story brings tears to my eyes. It will make a great book or even a love movie - I'm  just saying. 

Don't ever think it's too late. You will have a relationship in due season. Your story can help so many others out there with similar stories. You can stop someone from committing suicide because they think something is wrong with them. 

I am very proud of your resolve and your confidence in being able to share with the world your journey. I have not been able to keep up, as I would like, but it has been both refreshing and an eye opener to just how much I do and don't know about my best friend. It has also caused me to ask myself, " could I be this open and honest with someone?" Keep moving forward and I look forward to both reading and talking to you in the future. 

Thank you for your pearls of wisdom in your blogs!!! They are truly encouraging!!! Keep 'em coming!!!

I generally like to respond back to comments so to follow is what I am saying:

I decided to write my story after an incident with a guy online. I wanted to tell my story because I refuse to let anyone else steal my voice. I'm not gonna lie, I to have said men aren't worth the time of day that you give them. But the more I see men (people) the way God see's them, I realize that someone can say the same thing about me. However, I know I'm worth getting to know -flaws and all- so I don't discount people by my past experiences with someone else. I pay close attention to how they treat ME now. No, I'm no longer on any dating sites - I prefer face to face interactions and I'm enjoying them. If you know someone that can use encouragement about relationship issues, please let them know about my Blog. I hope to encourage and inspire others to believe that it can and will get better. Even if you have to navigate life by yourself for a while.